.: Hide - Pink Spyder :.

About smses.

2011-01-01T04:20:00.002+08:00

And so i've come to realise something.
When she text ya to say that she's home,
she could very well be somewhere else.

Suddenly all that doesn't matter anymore.

Babe, i know ure not one to be tied down.

I know you're mature enough to take care for yourself.
I know that no matter what,
you'll be sober enough to fend for yourself.

And even if i never knew you..
All these partying lifestyle of yours will never go away..
At least not anytime soon.

I want you to live your life.
I dun mind ya making new friends.
In short, i dun wanna change the way you are.

But i guess at the end of the day.
I just wanna know you're safe and sound bah.

Sigh..

Guess no one really understands how i want things to be.
Maybe i'm different.

Misunderstood,
like that.

Time stand still.

2010-04-25T22:24:00.002+08:00

My life has stopped for the longest time.

Nothing's been good since Aug '09.
Who's to blame.. Moi..

Where's the motivation?
Je ne sais pas aussi.

Life's been..
Disillusional and messed up for me.

Have i been happy.
Not in a long long time..

What makes me happy?
I'm still trying to find the answer to question too.

//

Work not good. Oh well..
What scares me more is that i ain't even happy out of work.

Happiness

2010-03-07T21:49:00.003+08:00

...

Think i'm going to fall in love with you all over again..

But there's no time for that.
And seeing you soo close with him..
I know your heart is somewhere else..

C'est la vie..

//

This time round..
I will take it reeaaal slowww..

Rant

2010-03-01T22:30:00.003+08:00

Well.

Why am i soo uncontended with my life?

No one taught me to care more abt my family.
No one taught me to hang out more and have fun with my frens.
No one taught me to fall in love.
No one taught me to drive a car.
No one taught me to manage my time wisely.
No one taught me to control my spending.
No one taught me to take care of my health.
No one taught me the importance of sleep.
No one taught me soo much..

I guess its just me..

Learn to love to much..
Plan for soo much..
But still procrastinate soo much..

//

Past is long gone.
Time to pick up and move on.

Sometimes

2009-12-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. i dunno who to tell..
that i think i'm in love with my best fren..

Sometimes

2009-11-22T22:29:00.002+08:00

Guess i gotta put things aside and move on.

But at times like this..
im feeling a lil confused..
dunno wad to say..
dunno how to feel..

soo many things i wanna say to you..
but u ain't there to hear mi out all the time anyway..

if onli i can say the right stuffs to ya at all the right time..
if onli i knew how to..

Happy post!

2009-11-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

Normally this is where i pour my sorrows to..

But hey,
after these many weeks,
and especially after today,
i realised that we can all be happy the way things are right now =))

Maybe after time,
you might finally fall for me..
Maybe after time,
I might finally get over you totally..

But then again,
ain't it all sweet the way things are like this?

Same script, Different cast

2009-10-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

Anata wa totemo kawaii.. demo..
Maintenant, tu trompe en amour avec quelqun,
et c'est pas moi..

Once again,
i watch ya falling in love with another guy.
Thing is,
this time round, he really seems like a great guy.

Dun even know if i shud be happy or upset over it.
Guess i haven't totally got over things,
haven't totally got over ya.

"Falling in love can be easy,
Staying in love is too tricky."

Kinda scared

2009-10-10T23:24:00.001+08:00

Cos this time round, i guess that u're really falling in love.
And yes, this time round, he seems like a great guy =))

Those late night talks..

2009-09-16T02:45:00.001+08:00

Aren't things great the way they are now??

Empty Bottle

2009-09-14T23:48:00.002+08:00

I feel empty.

Ren shi ze me duo ren, how many can you sit down,
be yourself and have heart to heart talks with?

Wronged abt you.

2009-09-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

I feel bad every time i wronged about you..

But i feel bad also that you only come to me when there's no one else to turn to..

All summed up.

2009-09-12T12:39:00.000+08:00

Guess my fren sums it up nicely..

She's prolly the only person you're ever soo close with,
that's why it hurts now that she's gone..

A Shout out to the world.

2009-09-12T03:33:00.000+08:00

Babe, seriously..
I just wanna let you and everyone else know that
I've been missing ya ever since,
And you're the only person i rather be with right now.

Is is love?

Tell me.

2009-09-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

Where do we go now.
Where do we go now.
Where do we go now?

Suprised.

2009-08-31T00:53:00.002+08:00

Suprised about how come she's soo sure with what she wants, even more so than me..

Quote

2009-08-19T01:03:00.001+08:00

have fun in singapore and gd luck with ur renee.

The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

2009-08-15T02:03:00.002+08:00

Basically the only thing i really looked forward to upon touch down Singapore.
Endless nights waiting for the moment to happen.
After 18 long months.
A promise is made.
A time is set.

And she never came.

Slap in the face.
Heart shatted,
Adding on the troubles i'm already facing.
and yes, promises can be broken.

I dun even see it clearly anymore..

FUCK YOU FEDEX
FUCK YOU CM YOU WUSS-CAKE

2 weeks

2009-08-01T05:32:00.003+08:00

Day after day.
I can only think about meeting up with certain people.

With you more than anyone else of course..

Bold as Love.

2009-07-20T07:14:00.003+08:00

You tot that mentioning your bf is going to stop me from trying??
Strange how i'm the one you come to when things start to turn sour..

Dun worry, I'm coming back real soon babe.

Growing Up

2009-05-13T03:07:00.002+08:00

In some ways i feel that you seem to be growing up..

Busy with school and work.
Falling in love.
Dealing with admirers.
Flirting with the guys.
You're even starting to remind mi of Valerie~

Now,
ain't tt a good thing??

;)

Dreams.

2009-05-04T03:38:00.001+08:00

I seriously dreamt about sharing a kiss on the lips with you last night.
It was magic.

Of poems and pics

2009-04-28T02:47:00.001+08:00

And today i saw ur pics. with him.

ironic enough, i just promised you before to write u the loveliest poem.
i still love u bff~ =))

Can't sleep.

2009-04-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

Was wide awake lazing in bed last night.
Tossing and turning for an whole hour i guess.

Pretty much thinking of ya.

//

For you,
New love.
New commitments.
New school.
New life.

Question is.
Will you still love me in the end?

Well, everyone needs someone.
Someone to share your joy and sorrows.
Someone who's always there giving you support from home.
Someone who you can count on.
Someone who loves you for who you are.
Someone who gives you the reason/motivation to..
do things, you know,
achieve goals, to be happy, to be a better person.

And i m nort just stating these stuffs down in black and white,
i wanna experience all these big feelings.

If you keep picturing that sweet smile on a particular person,
you know that you have found that special someone.

Words. Appreciated.

2009-04-02T02:52:00.002+08:00

so what did u used to want out of this friendship?

hm.. actually i disagree with u.. i don't think that if she's attached, yall will be able to be best friends.. i've been there before, and well, u just end up trying to be there for her all the time, but the fact is that she's gonna turn to her bf first.. and u'll be like telling urself that u sacrificed all ur time and effort for nothing. that was how i felt.

and i think ultimately.. between a guy and a girl.. there're only 2 levels - lover or friend. i think its extremely extremely hard for a guy to have a girl best friend.. cos next time ur gf/wife won't be happy, and her bf/husband also won't be happy and it'll be all very unhappy la. i know how u feel man.. but maybe you should try to just let go and see her as a friend?

honestly, as a friend who has been there before, if u want your friendship with renee to survive beyond the next few years, let go now. and remain just as normal friends, with no high expectations as you do now.. and maybe, maybe just maybe if if if she breaks up with her current bf, she'll find you the same caring friend that u are (if u haven't already gotten attached to someone else la)

if you go to all lengths to prove your 'worth' to her, i feel its trying to tear her between her affection for her bf and maybe for u.. and i think that's quite unfair to her

and well this may be tough to hear, but in the first place, i think u've had your chance to win her heart? maybe you had already won it.. but whether due to that you wanted to wait.. or because of cimcumstances, france and all that.. u didn't take the plunge to commit to her, and like u said la, she has the right to move on..

for once, it's someone else putting my tots down in words.
thanks zhou.

honestly, i feel sad.

2009-04-02T00:28:00.003+08:00

To tell the truth.
i feel hurt.
i feel sad.
nort by ur truth feelings.
it's ok to love, someone else,
but the words u've said over the past few days..
really hurts.

our relationship is hanging by a thread.
I DUN WANNA FUCK THIS UP LIKE BEFORE.

u know,
i really wonder who i can turn to now.

//

cm loves mi.
(and i dun?)
i treated you as bff,
so when you give, i push.
but when he give, i take.
that's why he gives more.
and i take more.
cos that's when the safe part comes in,
cos i feel safe, the more i take.

//

bff, dun ask mi.
idk.
i can't say.

(what?!! nvm.)
......

//

It's true,
if you love, you lose.

ARGH.

Sorry babe.

2009-03-22T21:42:00.001+08:00

I hate to say this..
but i dun feel it as much from you as it was in the past now..

You dun go searching for love.

2009-03-22T18:16:00.003+08:00

You dun go searching for love.
What will come will come.
minus all the heartaches also..

What's more impt,
make more contacts,
meet more peeps/gals,
be nice to everybody.

Keep an open mind,
let them fall in love with you.

Be darn nice,
and back off.

//

Renee,
guess we're just frens afterall..

But why do i get soo distracted over the amount of time u spend with cm??

You ain't telling,
and it's giving mi headaches.
den again,
i have no right to know.
like i say,
we're just frens.

at least tt's how u see it la..

//

I need to get u out of my head..

Strained. Really..

2009-03-22T03:21:00.005+08:00

It hurts when u miss someone more than she even thinks abt u.
And she's happy now, with some other fella.

I have commitment problems.

And to make matters worse,
I realise i have nobody to talk to..

//

Even the future looks bleak.
I dun even wanna thing abt it alr.

The only i can have now is hope.
HOPE. how sad is tt..

dear me,
too bad i have too much love to give,
and tt i love u more than i shud.
u onli love mi when u need tt somebody.

i dun even know what to say.
ur name just keeping repeating in my mind.

renee, i miss u.
alot.

alot...

Open mind.

2009-03-10T04:31:00.001+08:00

Keep an open mind.
what's yours will be yours.

and besides,
there're many fishes in the sea..

i hate to say this..

2009-03-09T05:14:00.005+08:00

bff, this is too much to take...
i know i m feeling selfish,
u're prolly just busy,
but man, one week w/o a single word from u..

i just feel a lil insecure,
a lil worried (abt all the other guys..),
and i miss u..

never have i lwaited to long to hear ur voice..

i really hate to say this,
but i hate this feeling..

cos i basically spend all my time thinking abt u..

1 week like this is just...
too long..
too difficult..
i think too much..

oh well, the next week will be better.

//

oh, i just wanna shout it out to u tt
i just got 6 more flights left!!
con't to have faith n support in me yea?!
love ya bff ;)

//

shit. i m starting to see things in a different manner..
what if.. this means more??
i m starting to see the gravity of things...
what if u're in it alr??
what if u never told mi b4 like u promised??
i know things could happen..
but i just.. wanna be prepared..
at least lemme hear abt it first..
u say u dun dare to break my heart..
but trust mi, by nort telling mi..
u're making mi feel much more worse..

i can onli hope..
tt it ain't happening..
nort yet..

i hope..
i m just thinking too much..

i need to hear from u babe..
real soon..

i need some reply..
some reassurances bff..

Start..

2009-02-23T01:40:00.004+08:00

Guess i'll be dropping by more often..
i feel better after spilling my tots out here..

... prevents mi from exploding with all kiddy tantrums / emo feelings also.

//

it's the start.. like we both expected..
less and less time tgt,
distractions,
keeping some stuffs from me,
you dun have to say it,
i can feel it..

(maybe tt's why sometimes to hurts to know u too well babe..)

feel it..
and it aches my heart a lil.
who ask mi to be overseas.

well..
i guess we can't avoid it la..
u're a gal who seeks love/attention,
and one who wholly deserves it also =))

i just tot..
maybe it's at good thing u go to poly than i expected la..
but well..
of all places,
chervon..

u know,
i've been thinking also..
maybe it's possible bah..
technically speaking,
we spent only 3days and 2 weeks tgt.
and what we had was..

special.

hmmm, i shall stick to my stand,
nort to be upset,
and like u do what u like,

haha,
but u gotta undestand tt it's more difficult than to execute it for real la.
when u're nort by me,
i constantly think of you.
when u're nort online,
i m just staring at the grey man to turn green.
when u're pming me,
i m just comparing the current time and the time u replied.

maybe i m being too closed up, thinking abt u bah.
i shud get on,
take a breather,
spend some time away.

yea.
maybe it's the best of both of us.

maybe i'll sort my feeling better,
and maybe, u'll know what u really want bah.

for now,
just keep in touch kk?

take care,
rmb to eat finish ur food yea love?

=))

*brushes ur hair*

.. Goodnight Bff

//

and no, it's nort the two of us who are the same..
it's u who have the same needs..

i can't be the same,
nono..
i dun want to be the same,

i want tt special place in ur heart.

i still hold dear to what u said,
that there's no way u can become bff with anyone else,
that i'm your one and only..

the phrase u cry out to me
"daryl, can you come back?"

forever resonating in my head..

//

for you and mi,
if u wanna be happy, be =))

Of songs and love..

2009-02-17T01:16:00.002+08:00

been thinking of what u've told mi.

"in love with tommy, chuaming"
"msging each other everyday"
"treating ya freaking darn good"
"sending ya home"
"on motorbike somemore.."

sets mi thinking..

//

is this really what i want u to do?
to let you free?
to encourage u to fall in love?

been thinking a while..
tossing and turning in bed..

//

and then i think again.

what we have for each other is special.
smth that u and i haven't experience before.
smth else that someone else will never understand.

soo..
.....
....
...
..
.

so i let my girl free,
cos what's meant to be will be.

i have faith in ya..
and i'll be waiting..

sitting here listening and chillling to blues and soul of raphael saadiq
;)

To you.

2009-02-02T03:04:00.003+08:00

Days in france get be lonely..
very lonely..

esp, when u're here alone,
with no singap,
and all ur french mates have gone back home.

you're stranded in the base,
with nothing to do.

i can't help but spending all these thinking.
and when i think,
i start to think back of the good old times.
and starting to feel really emotional.

in fact, i spent the whole weekend,
staring at the comp,
hoping for that certain someone,
to chat with that certain someone.

only this makes mi feel human,
like a person,
to be part of someone else's life,
to love and to being loved.

//

i have so many things to tell ya.
about the great week i had,
about the stuffs i bought,
about the motivation u are to me,
about me thinking of ya.

but time and again when i look back at the empty screen of the comp,
i m reminded of the harsh reality.

u have ur own things to do,
and u have no obligations to be there and listen to me.
i didn't give u any status..
but i just can't bare to get u the status.

i really duno if it's me for you,
i dun want you wanting for me and missing out on life,
i dunno what i whud do if i broke your heart,
i dunno wanna lose someone soo special and precious like you,
i wanna count on u forever.

so maybe it's best if we keep things this way..

budden u made mi see the other side of things,
truth is,
if we both carry on with our lives,
and end up in a relationship,
we'll prolly strain away from each other..

we wun be spending as much time together,
and we can't be as close anymore.

and besides,
i cannort imagine ya with any guy,
i just can't trust him enough,
i just can't bear to let him break your heart.

"it's not that i like you, it's just that i dun like the guy u're going out with"

maybe it's better for me to say "i love you"..

//

maybe maybe,
i m just reading too much into things and jumping to stupid conclusions again.
then i'll make the same darn mistake of being too emotional (which no gal can take) n screwing things up.

maybe maybe,
it's better to take a step back and be ratinoal,
"maybe she just ain't free?"
"maybe she is talking abt someone else?"
maybe at times it's better not to care.

absence make the heart grow fonder.

in all case, u should be more of a motivation than a distraction.
it's proven.

yesh,
i will prove it to u to i can achieve things here.
i will prove it to u that i can have a great bod too.

oh well, that's the prob.
as my good fren once put it,
"sometimes it's hard to love someone more than she loves you,
but it can be too much when someone loves you more than you love her too."

balance bah.
we all have our own life too.
give each other some space.

but i wish you could be a bigger part of my life too...

Comment allez vous?

2007-12-04T04:54:00.000+08:00

France France France. third week here now. shall do a lil update. throw in some pics oso. haha.

// Living Conditions

weather's can get really cold down here in salon-de-provence (north-west of marseille), esp in the early morn and evening. minus 1 degrees oso have. but on some days, it can get quite warm in the noon. unlike singapore, the skies here are really clear (the evening sky and night sky here is b.e.a.u-tiful) rain is unheard of. only prob is the winds..some times so strong dat u gotta bend forward and walk. kuazhang.

living in the base is nort bad at all. nice room. personal toilet. room service (so i no need waste time to make bed every morn) :P wireless. staying side by side with my 2 seniors. so quite shuang la. my 'buddy' staying away.. bit sway for him. oh well. and yesh. it's onli us 4 singaporeans in the whole base. and u get to see planes fly throughout the day. the patrouille de france (french aerobatic team) trains here oso. STEAM.

// People

people here are really nice. really. culture shock sia. every where u go, ppl 'bonjour n bonsoir (good evening)' with u wan. and when u see ur frens for the first time in the day, we'll greet each other and do a handshake. i tink u do this in sg, ppl tink u kee-siao. and when u meet girl for first time, u gotta do a simple peck on both cheeks. damnnnnnnnnn gaowei. went over to my french instuctors place for dinner on second night. and i was introduced to his kids. pretty lil gal and boy aged 7 and 5 respectively. den when the gal stick her cheek forward i kena stunned dunno wad to do. in the end i gave a awkward peck on one cheek n shook her hand. she must be thinking #$%$%@#... wahlau. first kiss liddat. gaoooooooweiiiiii..

hahaha. nvm. hope got more 'first kisses' to give away. shouldn't be too awkward by then ;)

// Language

french is nort easy man.. the pronounciation is really hard. lots of tongue curling and nasal sounds. my english pronounciation already nort very good alr, now gotta learn french. nvm, gotta put in effort man. it's such a beautiful language. besides, the ppl here dun converse with each other in english de. so i guess it's good cos i m 'forced' to learn the language this way. learn by listening to others and correcting my pronounciation constantly.

some basic french for ya. just rmb BDSM ;)
Bonjour / Bonsoir = bon-zhooor / bon-swah
Desole (sorry) = day-so-leh
S'il vous plait (please) = see-voo-play
Merci (thanks) = meh-see

// Food
food food food. they take their meals seriously down here. never disturb a frenchman while he's having dinner. i learnt my lesson. dun bother to look for instructor if he's late for lessons after lunch. cos when u arrive at the staff room and dun see him there. the other instructors oso dunno wad to say to u. u oso just gaowei stand down there. haha.

bread and coffee (kah-fay) are staples down here. every meal they (or we) eat bread. bread can go with anything. plain, with butter, with nutella, with salad, with gravy, with mash potatoes etc. just tink of clearing every thing on ur tray with bread. there u have it. coffee after lunch and dinner is a must.

something else abt meals. a proper french meal can comprise of 5 diff beverages. aperitif - starter drink b4 meal eg juice or cocktail. followed by vin (aka wine) after meals. and not forgetting coffee after every thing to clear the throat. mineral water will always be present if u want smth to clear ur throat. (u can choose between clear mineral water and carbonated mineral water.. wtf i know..)

kok, to frenchman no.1 : "so do u like wine?"
frenchman no.2, to kok : "do u know that tt's a silly question?"
senior, to kok : "here in france, no one get drunk.."

gaoweiiiiii

// Training

-classified-

haha. no la..hmmm.haven started flying yet. like everyone else, i m having lessons and mugging now. oh well. what else? it's mi and my 'buddy' alone in a small classroom with teacher lor. haha. will only join the other french trainees in jan. yep yep. but meeting new ppl all the time thru seniors and random chit chat la and table soccer. omg. their skill is absolutely kuazhang wan. what u see in hcjc student loungue is peanuts to what the french do down here. the skills... no wonder their soccer so pro.

oh btw, they play handball and fencing down here. hope to learn soon man. gimme gimme gimme.

kkk. gtg now. sleepy.. talk abt go kart and party in Aix next time!!! whoo hoo~

Work work.

The Beginning of a Beautiful Story

Good enough to Eat..

I love my room.

Kok is amused..

2007-11-27T03:43:00.000+08:00

that even in France. someone wants to steal my pen.

*kok diligently doing homework.yada yada*

instructor : "Daryl, try working this question on the board."
kok : "Eh! Where's my pencil and ruler?"
kok looks at ps (pen-stealer), asking : "Err, have u seen my pencil?"
ps : "No... *searches pencil-case* Eh, wait, is it this red one?"

*kok gives wtf expression*

kok : "Wait, is that my ruler also?"
ps : "I think so."
kok : "Err, how come u got 2 rulers? I think that plastic one is mine."

*ps gives wtf expression*

ps : "... ... Oh ya."

*kok gives fuck the what the fuck expression*

Note : there's onli 3 of us in the room, instructor, ps and pretty me. and i clearly remember leaving the pencil and ruler on my table. it's always there one, day after day. liddat oso can steal. champion.

he is as gaowei as the indian restarant that have beef dishes on the menu. paid 29 euros for a meal. that's at least 50 SG mind you. wth man.

Daryl is convinced abt 3 things.

2007-11-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

1) No one loves a quiet, good-natured, mild-mannered guys anymore.

2) No one pities a broken heart.

3) Stress is something u give to yourself.

life is cruel.
people are selfish.
so make the best for urself.

damnit. shud have jumped down from 3 stories into the water the other day.damnitdamnit.
some things u onli do once in ur life.
cos life is short.

change is good.

What's worse?

2007-10-30T20:57:00.000+08:00

so tell me what's worse?

Having nothing to do or having so many things to do?
when u got nothing to do, u get bored.
when u got so many things to do, u get frustrated.
moral of the story, get others to do for ya what u dun want to do,
so u can have all the time to do whatever u want to do.

but what abt things tt u can run away from?
like someone u gonna spend the rest of ur 18months with?
tt's like a sick dog u gotta hang on to for 18 months.
only diff is u can send the dog to sleep,
but nort in the case for a buddy.
oh well.

soo lil time left.
and our commander still dun wanna let us go on leave cos
'we're still on course'
we're going overseas for freaky 18 months HELLO!
and we got like 18 days left onli..
why i keep using we...
I I I I I I I I..
I got only 18 days left...

why m i getting so fucked up inside?
rarr
nort onli m i forfeiting my off entitlement.
nort onli m i losing the drive to study.
nort onli m i losing my nerves over countless admin bullshit.
i m losing my social life oso.
oh well.do i enough have much of a social life to begin with?

rarr.
in short, i m losing my sanity.

"so son, what are u going to do this weekednd"
this is the most fucked up question for mi.
well, parents ask mi tt out of concern.
to see whether to prepare dinner for me at home or nort.
to see if i m spending the night out,
and just to remind mi to come back early.

harmless lil question asked by parents?
NO.
it hurts mi so.
why why why?
cos the answer is always no.
i got notin to do over the weekend.
i get sad moody n stuck at home over the weekend.
every time i sit at the dining table eating dinner.
i start talking to myself, questioning myself.
the evil me laughing at myself for being such a piece of creep.

and that very same evil creep is starting flare up at his family members over the littlest things.
worse is towards parents n lil darren.
argh..
soo inconsiderate.
the shitty thing is tt i dun do such stuff to others.
maybe it's cos i m close enough with them tt's why i dare to be like them in front of them..
parents are just concerned.
lil bro just need some attention, someone to play with him..
but i ain't doing good by shurgging off irritating questions, spending more time alone den with bro..
sigh..
the evils of individualism..

oh well.
and when u tot u met a fren,
ur fren disappears..
sighhh.

mi my music n my life

Disintergrating..

2007-10-15T17:02:00.000+08:00

i m slowly..
disgustingly..
disintergrating..

one more month.
and life goes on unplanned.

KING of the UNIVERSE!

2007-10-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

now now..

i m the ultimate,
soul-disembodying,
absolute pwning,
@#$@#$^#%#,
*inserts any big shit words down here*
!@$@#%$#%$@$%....

KING OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

cos moi tahan 9Gs for the longest 15sec of my life.
haha.
event the ultimate roller coaster can't let u experience tt i guess.
hahahaha.

oh well.
lucky it wasn't as painful as i've dreamt.
and i lied,
it didn't feel like eternity la.
cos the doc was there screaming out for me,
telling mi timings for mi to exhale n inhale.
the only scary F@#$-Sh*t thing tt happened was
the ultimate tunneling of vision.
tt wan sibei kia nang.
black out after 5 sec liao just tong for 10 more sec.
seriously gotta do more weights to improve my G-tolerance.
shape my body a little oso.
haha.

Quote of the day :
"Turn your fear into ANGER!"

after that
i repeat...

i am...

KING OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

MWhahahahhahaha
*evil laughter*

9Gs for FRANCE!!!

haha.
i m going to play bball to celebrate later.
if i collapse later i oso dun care liao.
hahaha.

hahaha.
too bad ps never take today.
up to him to worry till 26 oct liao.
hahaha.

ps.
omg, i look damn ugly at 9Gs.bleaugh

Guess who uses the same pen as the guardhouse?

2007-10-08T14:10:00.000+08:00

hahaha.
no prize for guessing the right person.

case study 1 :
oh well, i was wondering how come he started using G2 pilot pens.
expensive taste sia.
den i realise the pen ppl use to sign in/out at guardhouse oso G2 de.
hahahaha.

oh man.
there's soo much abt him i wanna complain abt.
dunno where to start really.
i was sitting peacefully in the classroom.
den he steps in.
the sight of him irks me instantly.
bah.

here are some case studies :

case study 2 :
someone looks through our studying materials..
ps says :"i dun understand why some ppl are soo kpo.."

15min later
mi goes toilet
ps using my comp w/o my permission...

i oso dun understand why some ppl can go ahead n do the things that they dun like other ppl doing.

case study 3 :
story background.
ps is a vain boy.
waiting damn long to wear the no3 liao.
he thinks it makes him look smart.
*3 strokes of sweat*
but after we've collected no3,
he was damn stunned that the nametag has to be done separately,
and it'll take 2 weeks to make.
gorillaa. ehhhhh... ps stomps on floors..

2 weeks later,
goes to emart to collect nametag.
ps says :"hi ladies! here to collect nametag!"
me froze in terror as usual.
oh well.
the thing tt one does to curry favour.
(incidentally, his fav dish,oh well)
nvm.

con't
emart lady (more of auntie actually) responds : "eh, i nv receive ur form leh.the other day call u come back but u never come back rite?"
ps sweats :"errrrrrr, got wad...i..i..."
ps starts fuming that he can't get his nametag.
me stares into space.

case study 4 :
this wan damn pain.knn.
go do medical.
ps hears need to do blood test,
face turns white and flashes out old blood test results.
ps heaves sigh of relief when the results were deemed valid.
ps mentions :"yikes, i hate needles"
me rolls eyes,
then goes for full medical, including urine test, blood test etc.

1 week later ,
went back tgt(sigh, why must everything do tgt) to collect blood test result n do med review.
everything went smoothly for me.
then doctor realised that his blood test result was too old liao.
(he orded in 2001, born in 81, sucks to have a 'buddy' that has this gen gap rite?
bo bian, stuck thumb)
so he oso stuck thumb go for blood test while i go do my med review.
he went back to bunk 1st cos he ended earlier.
i went back home happily,
thinking of booking out tt night.
(can't deny.oso smile abit when i tink of him cringing in front of the needle la.haha.)

back in bunk,
i saw this damn sad face.
(and a topless figure.sibei gaowei *inserts extreme profanities*)
"yo, got some bad news.."
mi thinks, 'for you right? haha'
then in a sudden, the death blow came striking mi down hard like lightning splitting the old ember tree into half liddat.
(think lord of the rings,300,dota pwnage.somewhere along the lines)
"spoke to sir,
and he say tt you can't go back tonight cos he wants us to do the medical certification outside tgt."
(this word 'tgt' seriously tearing mi apart.who ask u to report in the 1st place?no say = nobody knows rite?at least i can go home mahhhhhh.)
kok has worst night ever in camp.

case study 5 :
person 1 : "so wad's ur score?"
ps : "err.7.6?"
person 2 : "so wad's ur score?"
ps : "err.7.8?"
person 3 : "so wad's ur score?"
ps : "err.7.9?"
person 4 : "ps! how come ur score keep increasing wan?"
mi laugh out loud at top of my voice.
of cos his score keep increasing mah.
increase liao den proportionate to his ego mah.
haha.
damn long never laugh loudly liddat liao.
hahaha.

wahliew.liddat onli half of the story only.nevermind.save the rest for some other time.i type until heart pain oso.got this type of person for a 'buddy'.knn.just wipe away the smirk off ur face can..

//

omg.
french gals are soo beautifulllll..
so refine.
so elegent.
so exotic.
ps they got nice nice freakles.

really diff from the other angmohs u see imo.
if americans are hollywood blockbusters, french are indie award winners.

i dun really know how to describe.
think indie.
think immense culture.
think beauty.
think subtle.
think acquired taste.
the more u know about it, the more u'll like it better.

9Gs for France!!!

//

still thinking

conservative or liberal?
suave or charm?

Weekends.

2007-09-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

every weekend is a dissapointment.
every weekend is a failure.
every weekend i look forward to.
every weekend is a pathetic day of two.

no one's free
notin to do.
there u have it
i m such a fool.

never plan properly.
before u know it
it's sunday book in day.
rarr.

//

oh well.
skool is like a cage.
it keeps the outside ppl out.
and the inside ppl in.

Importance of Time

2007-09-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

in 1 week, u can finish a module
in 1 day, u can finish 4 chapters
in 1 half of a day, u can finish 2 chapters
in 1 period, u can finish 1 full chapter
in 1 hour, u can finish 75% of a chapter
in 1 minute, u can finish 1 paragraph
even in every second, u should remain in focus, so that u can keep ur train of thoughts.

obviously, u can see the importance of time,
and what is of importance to me now.

rarr, i think i m becoming a study-holic

=)

well, it pays doesn't it?
afterall, it'll be relevant to work in the future.

study with an aim to understand,
so it'll be most helpful in work next time,
u study better.
u find the meaning of studying.

//

rarr, i want to eat more mooncakes.

//

now that granddad is gone,
i really treasure kinship a whole lot more..

may he watch over my mum n dad,
keep them free from negative stress,
keep them happy n healthy.
tt's most impt imo.

may he watch over dallas,
aid him in his studies.
i know he studies hard,
but it'll be much better to have someone guide him in the right way la.
teach him to study smart n be exam smart.
he's most willing to learn.
help him do well so he can choose to do wadever he wanna do in the future.
n help him win A div bball championship.

may he watch over "small boy", dearest darren,
the little one nort in the best of health lately.
now he gotta wear glasses.rarr.
den got a lil cut on the head.
pls pls pls let it heal nice nice n leave notin to remind him of the fall.
den help him get rid of his cough.bah.

may he watch over cousin warren,
who's taking psle in 2 weeks.
tt guy really blur n demoralised la.
although he got a place in SOTA,
he really needs something to wake him up,
to push him,
to motivate him to study.
he really cannort be bothered la.
doesn't even try.
gives up the moment he faces the smallest prob.
cannot la,
his dad work so hard n gives him the best.
he really need to see things thru
n work hard.
to prove to his parents,
and more imptly,
to prove to himself tt he can if he really wants it.

may he watch over uncle stephen,
whose in a lil bit of financial difficulty.
nort very jialat la.
but still,
hope he can find some form of secure income asap.

may he watch over auntie karen,
whose pregnant with 2nd child!
(omg, cousin larisse is totally adorable n best frens with darren.hahaha)
she oso setting up business to distribute organic health products n aroma products.
hope she will be in the best of health n dun stress.
give her many many business!

may he watch over grandma,
give her all the strength n comfort she needs.
dun worry,
we'll be there for her,
keep her strong.
i know everything's nort going to be the same for her ever again,
but i really hope to see her move on n enjoy herself n the warmth of the whole family.
put a smile on her face,
each n everyday.

dear granddad,
u're a man of few words,
but in ur eyes n from ur little gestures,
i can tell ur a gentle man with infinite love to give n share,
with each and everyone of us.
i hope u had accomplished all tt u wanted to do in ur long life,
and u've passed on most peacefully.

ah da, u'll be dearly missed.

Resolution

2007-09-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

my resolution for my 20th bday:

do what u wanna do with ur life,
cos there's no time for regrets.

in addition,

dun complain abt life/things going on,
it's up to u to make things better.

//

going overseas soon.
make the best outta this oppoturnity.
work n study n train hard.
meet new ppl.
learn new things.
exp a whole new culture.
socialise.
have fun!

=)

rarr..

2007-09-15T01:43:00.000+08:00

u seriously deserve to whack urself.
more talk than actions..

ACTION ACTION ACTION!!

MAKE IT WORK!!

*sometimes really just wanna zham ball or nua

Rarr...

2007-09-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

once a pond a time, i never believed in 3 things.

1. i'll gain mass (i've been stuck at 55kg for years..)
2. i'll grow fat
3. i'll lose my atheletism

anw, after many months of lagging n lack of work out. guess wad, i look like crap now. shan't elaborate too much. let's just say tt i wanna get my v shape bod. nah bei. must be partly due to the 'sphere of influence' here in the bunk. rarrrrr...

anw, i decided to stop calling my 'buddy' my 'buddy'. sounds so weird. let's just call him the 'pen-stealer' or 'pang sai' or ps for short. why pen steal u ask? here's what i observed..

0800hr
wongkok sees pen on table

0830hr
pen disappears.hmmm..

0900hr
fren asks, 'u got pen'?
kok smiles n offers my own pen.
fren says, 'oh u got blue pen instead? all this are written in blue alr.'
kok replies, 'eh, i tot i saw a blue pen on the table just now..hmmm'
fren asks, 'hey ps, u got pen?'
ps says, 'oh, u can use mine'
ps unveals the mysterious blue pen found on table!!

anw, i can't really just call him the pen stealer la. he stole a packet of maltese on table b4. he peeks into other ppl's books, laptops n everything he can get his hands on. used my comp w/o my permission b4 oso. damn qi gek. oh well. tt's my life for u!

cheers!! =)))

//

seriously, gotta study hard n work hard liao. still ok with studying. back must really get my lazy ass in the gym. can't lose to mr ps or gorilla-mon.

lotsa admin things to settle oso.bleaugh. kk. come out schedule liao must stick to it.

So much to say..

2007-09-08T14:27:00.000+08:00

kk. been a long long while since i blogged liao. really lazy to blog while in camp la. so i shall compressed everything here now since i m in the mood. hopefully i can recall everything tt happened in the past weeks in chronological order *sips Anything~* here goes!

//

Sometime 3 weeks ago..

went NUH to visit my paternal granddad.. he's been getting pretty weak lately.. ever since i went over to aust for flight screening.. really quite scary to see how much a person can become so frail in so short a period of time.. sigh.. things dun look pretty good la.. went over to see him at my aunt's place over the past weeks and things dun seem to be getting any better.. people say tt when u reach a certain point in life, u will know life's coming to a end.. it seems soo true.. it's nort tt i m heartless or ignorant or anything.. but when u see it for urself.. bah.. i ain't as close to my paternal grandparents as i m with my maternal grandparents la.. so i dun feel as sad.. but stilll.. aiya.. nice to see tt my grandma's pretty strong n caring.. when my maternal grandma reached the final chapter of her life, i felt really very very sad la. it's really painful to see someone soo strong n lively (from chasing ya with the cane when u were little to spending hours a day making all those yummy soon kueh, ang kueh, rice dumplings) slowly weakening, and end up motionless on the chair or bed.. sleeping most of the time anyway.. all the life n vigour faded away.. although my maternal grandparents weren't really always very close n loving (they used to be at loggerheads quite a bit in the pasts, engaging in small small quarells here and there), but my granddad really stood by her till the end. tending to her, helping her in every single way (she was to weak to feed herself..), talking to her.. on that fateful morning, he was sitting quieting, at a corner away from her deathbed. being the stubborn old man he was, he was trying to hold back her tears.. but it was too much for him, for anyone in the family lass.. the old man oso broke down n was sobbing to himself.. hai~ well.. a pair of doves dun really last long after one has flown into the skies of heaven la.. less than 2 years later.. he became much quiter, physically weaker as well.. one fateful night, he lost his breathe, and ended up in eternal rest as well.. hope my paternal grandma will con't to fight on, live life to the fullest.

//

Sometime 3 weeks ago..

in the same NUH, i see too MANY young docs and nurses. until the extend i feel pretty uncomfortable n doubtful of their ablities. esp the nurses man.. from their faces, i feel tt many of them are just working to get their job done.. i dun really see the heart to help n heal.. i serioously hope i m wrong man. it's like.. many of the patients are really old n i am sure you aren't really hopeful abt life when u're really old n weak, donning a boring blue medical clothing, lying on a hospital bed, flanked by machines, syringes, bottles of pills, soft gooey baby-like food, needles n tubes (you get what i mean, alternatively, go walk in a class c ward urself to get a few urself). moreover, the patients ard you dun look every happy n young oso la.. they're probably thinking of the same thing as you are.. the worst thing is, there's a piece of paper beside ur bed that includes ur personal particulars, ur doc's name, what language u speak and ur 'situation'. i'm sure u'll feel like shit if u're classified as 'situation critical' rite? wahlao..

something must be done la.. to liven up the mood.. to give them a reason to live.. now i know why ppl dun like to be thrown into a ward la.. u're sick alr and u're thrown into this gloomy place, makes u feel more depressed la.. i m sure the docs n nurses will do their best to help la.. but even simple decorations or programmes to engage the patients will help in their therapy.. and i know, we gotta be honest with ourselves, sometimes, when it's time to go, it's time to go.. but what we can do at least, is to provide these people with a happy, meaningful, peaceful final chapter to their lives.

//

Sometime 3-2 week ago..

before i got my laptop approved to bring into camp, gotta listen to radio on hp to get my music energy. nort tt the radio provide enough adrenaline for me to do my work optimally la.. but i still need something, anything musical to get mi going la.. u know how bleaugh radio music n djs can be sometimes.. but i heard a damn nice song on radio recently!! quite a amazing find imo. Foundations by Kate Nash! haha. nice nice. radio must play more of these sorta music. reminded me of The Dresden Dolls. maybe it's the heavy English accent. nice nice nice. whee!

//

Exactly 2 weeks ago..

1st time moving into bunks.rarr.gotta stay cos the new skool comm says so.was dreading it quite a bit 1st. cos i ain't too close with my 'buddy'.. den now must stay in with him somemore. oh well. ended up things didn't turn out too badly la. can save money on tpt n food oso. more time n more focused to do my studying as well. yeapyeap. only thing is tt we're staying in at the wrong period of time la.. cos of the change of skool comm, there are lots of new rules la.. now got lights out at 2330hr n reveille at 0545hr. last time sleep anytime n wake up 0630hr oso can. now got area inspection oso. tt's the most irritating wan imo. bah. regimentation shud be minimal to enhance studying n soldier's performance!! haha.

//

2 weeks ago..

been waking up a lot n dreaming a lot.. lasted the whole week. guess i was really too tired.. thinking abt too many things. all the weird dreams.. haha.. just read up abt sleep in my aviation books. says tt weird dreams are part of REM sleep, when the mind is trying to organise ur tots while u're sleeping. thinking i really thinking too much abt things liao. esp all the admin matters to settle b4 going france. really irritating. cos the whole program is still kinda new, so many things are not in place. even the higher-ups are nort sure of how to go doing things sometime. so we're quite stranded sometimes. rarrrrrr~

//

Last tues..

went for my 1st GFET. GFET is the centrifuge machine. wahhahaha. at 1st quite scary, cos we heard tt one's G tolerance is dependent on one's build. a short n stocky build would be ideal cos
1. with more muscles, u're more able to gek n restrict the blood flow from flowing away from ur brain n heart la.
2. the vertical distance distance btw ur brain and heart is reduced. hence initial diff in blood pressure btw ur brain and heart is less, and there'll be more dissolved 02 and blood in ur brain b4 u lose conciousness. anw, an interesting point to note, u will nort be able to lose conciousness when u're lying flat on the floor cos the vertical distance btw the brain and heart is zero. hahaha.

anw, my 'buddy' has been preparing himself a lot for these la.. working out (or shud i say over-working out) at the gym, doing mega squats (cos the tensing of lower body muscles are more impt when it comes G tolerance), to the extent of getting curious stares from other ppl in the gym la. cos he's like doing 5-7 sets of 5 reps each time, doing squats with damn damn heavy weights. think got at least 50kg or more. just freaking scary. den i happily study, more concerned of finishing the syllabus la. so nv do weights for damn long liao. den he was like ' hey, u better do abit. will def help u with GFET. ' aiya, look at his face u know he despise mi for being skinny la. haha. i fit lor. at least i dun wanna be short n stocky like him... gross. yikes!

anyway, i went ahead 1st. hahaha. and i did nort bad even without much working out :P managed to hit 7.2Gs. tt's equivalent to 7.2 the times the gravity on Earth ie everything weighs 7.2 times. den my 'buddy' hit 7.9Gs. tt's pretty good la honestly. BUT BUT BUT. my 'buddy' being the champion he is, damn sad he cannot reach the maximum 8Gs on our 1st try. so he began making lots of noise, saying how confident he was of hitting 8Gs on the 1st try, and shud really push himself a bit more, and damn sad damn depressed tt he cannort hit the 8Gs etc etc. yawns. afterall, the lil skinny dude hit 7.2Gs rite? ;) so wad does Mr. Champion do? go zham more weights after the GFET. haha. after gym, he look sibei jialat, all the energy sucked out of him. he lean against table, saying he cannort stand anymore. i just *rolls eyes* and con't studying.

haha. end of week. he zham soo much weights, and didn't had enough time to study finishing. end up didn't do too well for progess test. damn become stunned and emo after losing to mi.. damn funny, cos the test results is online wan. so when i m in the bunk studying, suddenly he goes 'HUH?!' damn freaking loud. i tot what. so i asked him what happened. he just stunned and dun wanna reply. 'no la, notin notin' when i looked over, he was looking at the test result website and he quickly switch off the window when he saw mi looking in his direction. MWhahahaha. OWNAGE :P man, i slowly getting a kick by winning him in everything he wish to win mi in. hahaha. cheers to Mr.Skinny!! =)

disclamer. i m not skinny kk. i m fit lor. it's a relative term when u're comparing someone like my size to him. hahahahaha.

//

Last fri..

emo day. got happy hour in skool. everyone go mess makan. but i was alone. cos wso ftr cos only 2 of us. then i dun really know the other ppl ard. ada with themselves, pilot with themselves etc. bleaugh. bah. after dinner, hang ard alone for a while den zhao liao. grrr. didn't even bother to socialise or interact abit. just damn out of place. bah. lucky things are much much better now. know quite a no. of hci guys from the junior n senior ada batch. jielong, weixuan, paul, yipeng, naga, jackson. even threw baseball with aston (who call him bring 2 gloves into camp.hahaha) mingling more with jeffery and the uav guys. den got to know 2 fantastic guys, run xuan from holding n ryan from agc 10/07. very frenly n approachable ppl. rx damn good with IT. den ryan is really knowledgable when it comes to life in general la. judging from the way he talks abt studies, career options and working out. whahaha. i know who to find to protect mi when i m in trouble liao. he like some california gym instructor liddat can. haha. tt's the way a 26 year old shud be mah. mature, sensible, objective, humble, humourous, frenly and approachable. nort some gan jiong, anxious, confused, unorganised, egoistic, over-confident, paranoid individual like someone... like my 'buddy'... rarr.. haha. u can see the look of scorn on his face when i ask ryan for body buidling tips (cos he's really looks much better and fitter (he's freaking v shaped and has well toned muscles, as compared to short n stocky build of my 'buddy' la) and he really know the rationale for eating supplements, food intake, the biology of body, fat percentage, fluid retention in one's body etc (unlike my 'buddy' who takes supplements for building up of muscle mass and meng chiong weights aimlessly, get freaking drained out n look damn shagged all the time, so wrong, no time to body to recover lor) :PP

//

Yest!!

well, they say when u meet the love of ur life, time slows down n even come to a stop. u become oblivious to everything else, and she becomes the onli focus of ur world at the very time n moment.. *aiya, like go watch 'The Big Fish' when Evan Macgrager was describing the time he knew he met the love of his love..beautiful scene tt sticks in my mind*

meet a really really pretty gal. guess she's a tracker or netballer. tall, nice tan, nice hair (the , nice smile. judging from wallet etc, has a great taste for things oso. the name's jolin ho. what's most impt is tt i met her dad oso =))

made my day seriously.

hahaha.okok.it's nort wad u tink la.just happen to see this gal at GFET centre. den her dad fetch her dad by car la, so was there oso. think she's there to do medical check-up to apply to be pilot. RSAF plsplsplsplsplspls accept her, and the medical side plsplsplsplsplspls pass her asap, so can see her ard in afs before i fly to france..

pray arhhhhhhhhhhh...

sit down n think..

2007-09-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

things i've learnt after being in the service.

1. everyone got 24hrs a day, it's what do that makes all the difference.
2. doing notin n having notin to worry abt notin is a pleasure.
3. u realise u dun have much to do on weekends.
4. no point spending so much time planning, if u dun carry things out.
5. no one will pity u for nort wasting ur own time.

....

u realised it's all linked..
rarr..

morale of the story,
you shi xiang zhou, jiu yao gan gan qu zhou.
if nort, use the time to do smth meaningful.
make someone's day a lil better.
or make ur own life a lil bit better.
=)

Breakdown..

2007-08-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

Is is just me or am i meeting irritating people whereever i go?

...

wad's worse than seeing someone u dun really like day after day in camp?
living in with him in the same room night after night from sun to fri..

...

oh well.
let's help him to help myself.

//

rarr.
been feeling totally annoyed the lately.
with the going-ons in camp,
constant nagging n questioning at home abt Life in Camp..

totally pissed..

so much so tt i've been acting pretty ignorant n irritatable towards my own parents n bros.
to the point i lost my temper to my mum last night.
feeling really bad n apologetic la.
things dun hafta turn out this way if i can onli control my emotions,
n if they can just understand n gimme some private time
to cool down n sort out my tots.

okie.
gotta apologise n explain myself to family.
promise never to lose my temper again.
CONTROL!

life ain't always going to turn ur way,
it's up to u to choose wad u wanna do abt it.

hell yea. =)

gonna enjoy my last 2 days out.
feels soo terrible looking back at my attitude the past few days.

Bad News.

2007-08-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

gotta stay in from next week onwards..

"Don't worry, heard it's not so bad afterall."
quoting someone.

you just dun get it, do you?
the problem is staying in, with you.

uber sian.

//

yesh.
it's 2 ppl sharing a room.
and yesh.
i gotta stay in with who else, my only coursemate.
and btw,
can't bring in my laptop yet.

sian to the max.

Work Work.

2007-08-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

finally things are getting started down here.
was briefed by commander today n got to look thru the syallbus.
lots n lots to study man.
but the things tt we'll be covering are really interesting.
at least it's interesting to mi la.
haha.

guess it's a diff feeling now cos u know wad u're studying will be applicable to what u'll be doing in the future.
nort just studying for the sake of getting good grades n go into the next phase of learning..
kinda pointless if u ask me..
so yea.
looking forward to studying!
sounds weird but true~
=)

kk.
typical day.
wake up grumpy 5.15 in morn,
take 80-90 min to get to paya lebar,
study,
lunch,
study,
gym/sports,
day end.

meanwhile,
try to learn french,
read more,
basic theory,
cooking,
help dallas with studies,
educate n entertain darren.

den in france,
learn french,
learn more abt french cruisine, culture n music,
learn guitar/bass,
n fulfill my secret desire..
join a le parkour club!!!

i shall be super knowledgable, super fit, super frenly, n super happy!
go kok go!

It's Been A Long Day..

2007-08-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

Guess it's partly cos i slept late last night at 1am
n i gotta wake up at like 5.30am in the morn..

been a longgggggg day man.
1st thing in the morning kena marked cos of my long hair liao.
den sian tiao studying in noisy classroom w/o my music.
watched a boring war movie.

"Death. What do you know about Death?"
-- Children of Bodom quoting 'Platoon'

boring classmates.
no music.
closed environment.
lack of activities.

nvmnvm..just waiting to get my laptop only,
after tt i can plug in,
space out,
n study properly liao =)

den go cut hair oso sian.
i tot cut until quite nice alr,
den uncle cut cut cut n dun stop.
end up near botak again.
only got a slight fringe to differentiate mi from the recruits.
bah.

kkk.
the things i need most now are :
1. rest
2. music
3. peace of mind
4. work out
5. things to occupy myself with

looking forward to FRANCE!!
see too much nice things from the pics n stuffs liao.
can't wait!

Tomorrow is sunday.

2007-08-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is sunday,
which means day after is monday.
and since monday is monday,
it's time to get down to work.
rarr.

wad have i done this week?
nort much really.
presents have been distributed,
kk, nort quite..
but those i gave out are just give n go..
wad's the point really.

only phrase i'll rmb this week,
'how come ur hair grow back so fast?!'

sigh.

n since monday is monday,
i'll be back at work,
seeing dear ol' ***** (dun wanna mention his name really)
nabei,
call mi watch my diet in aust,
nevermind...
i'll work out,
nort going to grow stout n fat n round like ya.

aiya,
dun talk abt work la,
think of him is damn sian wan.

nvm,
look forward to MAF.
think promos will be over by then..

sigh.
i really just wanna let loose n by 100% myself.

At Night..

2007-08-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

i feel like venturing out late into the night.

i wait.. hoping to talk to certain people..

but u know, most of the time, waiting is futile..
so i m just wasting my time.

shall make full use of time.
make use of time meaningfully.

so i shall read n study n learn.
while enjoying my music of course.

Scorecard

2007-08-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

oh well, we all talk everyday rite? so how hard is it to talk to someone? let's see..

Scorecard for :
kok

talk types :
fair-weather talk - 5
talk cock - 6
jokes - 2
deep talk - 6
heart talk - 4

body language :
eye contact - 6
listening - 8
gestures - 7
language - 5
tone - 7

feelings :
sincerity - 6
warmth - 4
respect - 8

overall interpersonal / communication skills - 5.5

.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.

jialat.

sigh, there ain't many ppl whom i can talk my heart out to. really. oh well. guess it's likewise for many of us. but, i got a major prob socialising with ppl la.

1. shy
2. my language / articulation sux. n my train of tots always get messed up.
3. lack of topics to talk abt. dun even know wad interesting topics are there to talk abt.

rar.
speak only when spoken to? tt's silly. it'll never work out in this world la. ever see someone u know in a bus n get tongue-tied? the awkward silence.. happens to all of us. u know the fella, but there ain't really much to talk abt.. but still must say something to break the silence rite? the feeling sux.

oh well. why m i always the one thinking abt wad to talk abt??
if onli the other party msg, talk online, or call ya on the phone 1st..

aiya, my phone is quite dead anyway.. rarr..
sian or sad?
i cannort decide either.

Filling up the gaps

2007-08-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

i shall

.plan my day, week, 3 months, future
.pack my room
.clear the mess
.reply mails
.manage my music files
.read
.work out
.pass bro my notes
.create a complete to-do list

tml.

//

gotta spend the next week meaningfully
nah..

gotta spend the rest of my life meaningfully.fulfillingfully.

//

improve on communication skills!

Leaving on a jet plane..

2007-07-17T23:25:00.001+08:00

gotta start doing weights again.
gotta start scratching my head.
just do it!

//

follow someone whom u respect n u'll become a better person.
if u keep complaining someone who disgust ya, n u'll end up just as disgusting.

-- Maj Frankie (cool dude)

//

leaving for tamworth tml evening.
work hard for 2 weeks,
perform well,
secure the job,
come back with a ease of mind.

I'LL RETURN VICTORIOUS!!!

Days in AFS

2007-07-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

+day 1
blur sotong.
seeing fellow coursemates for 1st time.sian-ed.

+second day
it's all abt taking initiatives.
mingling ard ain't no harm.

+white bar day
prideeee...yesh.suddenly i feel tt pride can eat wan sia...

+see seniors day
learning more.
expectations.
looking forward to excel in tamworth.
leaving on wed?!

+friday
leaving on tues?!?!
i starting to miss everything here.
leaving on tues?!?!
i'm missing my family alr.
leaving on tues?!?!
n i realise they're lotsa ppl i wanna say goodbye too,
but i guess they ain't really there anymore..

//

"One Headlight"

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

[Chorus:]
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middleBut me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

[chorus]

Well this place is oldIt feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think she left, and it has been killin' me

[chorus]

-The Wallflowers-

Anti-social is...

2007-07-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

no good.

must open up.
take initiative.
make correct decisions swiftly.

Biggest test of my life

2007-07-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

flight screening..

this is nort an academic test.
this will nort determine wad course or uni i go.
i determines my career,
my life.

this test ain't abt studying onli (i feel tt i've failed academically..),
it also tests ur physical limits,
n mental resilence.

50% can be trained,
50% talent.
kk,guess luck plays a part oso..

anw, this is a test tt i dun wanna fail.
this will be a test tt i wun fail.
and nort onli do i wanna pass it,
i wanna pass it with flying colours,
n to be the Best candidate.

No Compromise!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

contract

2007-07-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

signed.
wso (ftr)
leaving for flight screening in aust on 22 july
will be xiong,
but will be awake n motivated,
n will not be chopped.

//

Transformers rox to the core.
my movie of the year.

.cgi is kuazhang good
.fight scenes are omg awesome
.got nice vehicles
.got motivation for air force
.got hot babe
.got garang soldiers
.got good execution of military warfare
.music is heart-pounding
.got good jokes (the searching of the glasses in the house was damnnn funny can)
.plot wasn't too cheesy
.the flow of the movie was just nice (didn't felt like 2+hrs.was constantly entertained by the awesome transformation, military operations n jokes man)

wahlan, when u see the machines literally swing into action morph arh.can cry sia.

"Autobots, roll out."

shopping ultimate mistake.

2007-07-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

never buy anything if it's nort of the right size aka nort comfortable to wear.
even if there's offer or sale.

damnit.

example 1.
my stupid giodarno khaki berms tt i bought some time ago.
mum insisted on getting a pair tt was 'just nice',
but i kinda like things a lil loose.
end up listening to her n bought my first pair of pants tt actually went above my hip-bone.
freaking gaowei,
kinda reluctant to wear them after tt.

example 2.
bought 2 shirts yest tt were a lil too small...
feeling a lil tight ard the neck n armpit area..
totally uneasy when i wear them..
nevermind, try going 'tight-fit' for a while.
sian.
who says ppl my size shud go for M?
damnit.

try wearing to work tmr.
if still feeling uneasy in them, shall go stretch them a lil next time.
rarr.

//

does ur heart feel sore?

...

Saturday Shopping.

2007-06-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

went to bai bai with parents at middle road today.
after tt decided to 'take a brake from home', so i decided to go walk walk ard the bugis n orchard area.
suddenly was in a shopping mood.
ended up buying 4 casual shirts for 60+ bucks.
damn long never liddat buy liao.
still looking for a nice looking polo tee n berms.
rarr.

so afraid tt i might run into her n him....
i'll just...
be too stunned n lost for words...

//

i'm starting to hate the night more n more..
i'm blogging almost every night..
tt ain't a good thing,
cos i blog most of the time when i ain't feeling too good.

it's like..
at the end of the day,
when u scroll thru ur contact list,
u dunno who u can talk to..

and the person u care for most,
dun even look back at ya..

so what if u know many ppl,
u dunno who to turn to at the end of the day..
ain't close with anyone at all..

sighh..
i guess i dunno how to maintain a frenship.
dunno when to talk,
dunno how to talk,
dunno what to talk abt,
dunno how to express care n concern.

yes, i can organise outings,
play sports tgt,
hang out tgt and stuff.
but tt's just the surface of things eh?
i dun really like chattering nonsense with any random ppl.
let's just say tt i m picky n i take a while to warm up to ppl..
too long in some cases apparently..

Arghhh..

life sux when u onli wanna chat with tt 2-3 ppl everyday..

lessons..

2007-06-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

.1
never reveal tt u like someone unless the other party says so 1st.
hurts like mad if she says no.
just play along n smile n act ignorant n congratulate her if she tells ya she likes someone else.
den go back n cry like mad.

at least u guys still can still be frens.
or else the relationship will just turn cold n things will drift apart..

.2
not to be look down upon.
dun be contended, push for the best.
prove ur worth.

.3
once u set ur mind into it, go for the best.
ain't no turning back.
do nort fear failing tests, for i ain't eyeing borderline passes.
motto : To Be The Best.

fuck u all the dis-believers.

watashiwa..

2007-06-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

there'll be a airforce talk at hwa chong on 25.06.07,
but i guess i wun be there..

//

i m loud, but most of the time i m quiet,
depends on my mood really,
n i tend to be pretty moody..

i rant, i complain n laugh at stupid ppl.
and i can get reaally anti-social sometimes..

i m a rock n roller,
nort a freaking clubber.
i mosh, nort grind.

i need more spice in my life..
rarr

the path ahead..

2007-06-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

it all started at bmtc.
n now i finally got the msg..

in life u go thru many failures n rejections,
and i hope pretty darn hard for this.

now it seems tt i've passed the most impt test yet.
there are bound to be many more challenges ahead,
but it feels great to know tt i've passed the initial tests
n take a big step forward.

life will be good,
but life will be challenging as well.

gotta push on to be the BEST!

anw,
i dunno if i'll con't to miss ya.
i dun even know if we're able to meet b4 i go..
but thanks for stepping into my life,
for u give pleasant memories tt i can't deny.. =)
cheers~

simple guy

2007-06-22T15:42:00.000+08:00

guess i m a simple guy after all..

what's meant for ya,
will be there for ya,
u wun even hafta go abt searching for it..

what's nort meant for ya,
learn to let go,
n be a lil nicer to yourself.

Running away..

2007-06-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

another day back in skool..
caught up in the same situation again.
she's sitting right down there studying.
and all i can bring myself to do was to watch her from afar,
not wanting to disturb her,
not knowing wad to do either.

i whud prefer to keep things at status quo.
cos i dun see how i can help improve matters,
things seem onli to be going the other end..

den came revalation.
guess she must have saw mi with the other guys coming her direction.
(i ain't trying to approach her,
i whudn't dare anyway rite?
just crossing her path towards the canteen.
i whudn't even dare to look into her eyes..
sighh..)
she doesn't even pretend nort to look in my direction.

she happily hops off n runs out of sight.

//

nevermind u dun like mi.
nevermind u got a bf (i dun even know if it's true...)
but to shun mi liddat after everything..
love hurts eh?

guess i gotta slowly let go of things..
n stay clear of the love game for now..
still hurts..
gotta ways to keep myself occupied n happy n stop thinking..

maybe i ain't all tt attractive.i know.
shall keep my mind focus on other things.

//

i may have plenty of frens n smiles in the day.
but all i seek is the concern of a certain someone at night.

Here without you..

2007-06-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

rarr..

i dun even know how to approach ya when i see ya.
i dun even know wad to do when i see ya..

wad hurts the most is the sudden stop of interaction.
ain't no oppoturnity to interact.
even so, whudn't it be awkward?
looks like there really ain't no such thing as a platonic relationship..

it all happened so swiftly.
i didn't even have time to respond..

all thanks to interact.
yes.ppl join interact to interact.
tt guy better be nice...

but no doubt i'll wait.
for this gal gives mi a special feeling tt i never felt b4.

gone were the days where we could chat into the night, talk abt anything under the sun.
for now.

now she's studying for block test,
but come week2 of term 3,
i'll be back in camp alr,
and if i'm in ocs,
wun be out until week3 at least.
rarrrrrrrrrrrrrr

when was the last time i saw ya?
when was the last time i heard from ya?
when was the last time u msg?
seems eons ago..
cos i'm thinking abt ya every time my heart skips a beat..

been actively organising outings,
playing sports,
going out with frens..
why?
to let out my frustration.
to try to keep ya off my mind.

as u can tell,
it ain't working well..

u're simple, yet sophisticated.
u're young, yet soo matured.
u can get pretty finicky, but tt's soo adorable =)
u whud rattle abt the weather, n laugh abt it cos u noe it doesn't really matter.
u appear uneasy at times, but i know u're pretty darn strong.
u may be screaming at the world, but boy i know how gentle n careful when the occasion calls for it.
u're demure. n pretty. n elegant. n sweet. n so much more.
serious as u may be most of the time, i know deep down inside u whud love to be loved..
dreaming of dreams u read in books..
u gotta know tt i whud do anything to put a smile on your face, anything to melt your heart.
if onli u open up a lil more to moi..

sigh.
things always seem to end b4 it even starts for mi.
things will prolly never work out if it's one sided from the start.
always the chance.
some other ppl have all the luck.
m i really tt un-love-able?

sometimes i see certain type of guys oso got gf i dun gaowei.
nevermind.life unfair.
mi wait.

*rant rant*

Not too happy.

2007-06-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

getting pretty sick of home.

parents nagging bit too much.
nort much time/space to do my own things.

i rather tread alone along orchard road, watching the evening crowd, n cruising thru malls n library.
or taking a slow walk along esplanade lane, where u can feast ur eyes on art, where music are sound to my ears, where imagainations can run wild.

rarr, i think i need to search for some local gig to headbang my brains out come this pop holiday to 'cleanse' my mind n take a work-out.

come to think of it.think i m gonna miss BMT.heard it's like the honeymoon period of ur 2 years in NS..esp times like now, whereby all the high key events are over n all u gotta do is to chill with ur mates =) like awd i always tell the guys, it's nort the end, it's just the beginning for us la.laxing one.just tt next time we meet, we wun be seeing each other topless with admin shorts only, or dressed in sweaty no.4 liao.haha.cheers

more SOCCER!

//

crystal mirror, crystal mirror,

lemme noe wad's going in her mind,
let her noe how i'm feeling deep down in my heart..

and if u may spare mi just one more favour, help mi grant her happiness so tt she'll put a smile on her face..for it's tt one smile to drives mi on..

crystal mirror, help mi break free from this lonesome feeling.

//

someone to look up to.
someone humourous.
someone to give security.
someone gentlemanly.
someone who trues cares.
someone who knows when to talk, listen n stop.
someone who throw suprises =)

Em.oti.ona.lly U.nst.abl.e

2007-06-03T14:03:00.000+08:00

Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Convoluted Thoughts.
Unspoken Feelings.
Awaken Sins.
Unfulfilled Dreams.

army sux.getting damn sick of things la.nort cos of the physical aspect of things.the tekan n confinement n seeing certain ppl make u feel pretty sian n lousy la.haven been able to chat over the last 2 weeks cos

1. dropped my hp in taxi just b4 book in the week b4 (luckily taxi driver was nice enough to return)
2. she's been away..

haven got to chance to meet up cos ppl's busy n stuff..rarr..nort much chance to develop for now..been feeling bit lost n sianned tiao..see la! army lock us in n keep ppl out! damnit.

den damn cock

1. never get pilot (wad are the chances anyway..)
2. never get ntu biz (everyone cheonging biz anw)
3. never get ippt gold (nearly failed ippt cos of sbj.heng shit)
4. never get to talk
5. never get to go out

nvm.shall accept nus biz for now.maybe apply for smu biz next year.

as for command skool right..dun really know abt my chances for ocs la.never make quite an impression for others esp in terms of leadership la.but come to think abt it, nort exactly tooooooo keen on ocs oso la.heard it's mentally quite draining (which i m damn hell sick of it alr) cos of all the tekan n cheong shua (physical n jungle training).guess i'll do it for the money (700 -> 1k!!!) n honour n my future (think job interviews etc).soo there's some motivation for ocs la..but i guess sispec oso nort bad la.seem more lax n the company can be quite brotherly wan.nort soo pia n wayang in ocs.aiya.just get the 2 years over n done with.chop chop curry pork.

den again. i think i m just being pessimistic n recalling all the unhappy stuffs.must think positive!!!

Always look on the bright side of life! =)

BMT key events over alr.things coming to a end liao.like 6 more working days to POP.ps.now's the hols.we're going to have block leave too.good time to catch up.yupyup~ =) just gotta tahan a lil while more.things will turn out fine!

cheers to life.

*throws confetti*

btw, the blizzards rox

Mottos

2007-04-29T22:43:00.000+08:00

kk.sibei long nv blog liao.bye bye to civilian life.don on ur army uniform man.mwhahaha.kk.life still can tahan in there..quite restless w/o my music sia.been listening to sappy chinese love songs on radio day after day.bah.den cannort bring in my mp3 player cos it's the thumbdrive type.onli ipod tt type allowed.grrr.tempted to buy ipod now.bah.other then tt.stilllll can tahan.

anyway.here's my take for army.

Vision
Perseverence
Strength
Motivation
Brotherhood
To Inspire
Make the Best out of it!

Enlistment..

2007-04-13T11:04:00.000+08:00

Army..feels like extended OBS.hahaha.like wad i always tell ppl.just go in n try to make the best out of it.and try to find the 'inner fun' n 'true meaning' of serving the nation :P

okie.okie.this army boy will miss some stuffs.

playing tennis/softball/bball in skool.
parties at zen.
air con/bed/comp/music at home.
going out n hanging out with frens.
wakeboarding at batam.
roleplaying as rock stars/power rangers with brothers at home!
SMALL BOY!
v.a.l. =)

//

after the rain. i tink of ya =))

This feeling..

2007-04-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

it's bittersweet..

Work.

2007-03-31T02:26:00.001+08:00

yea..been working at zen for more than 2 months now..time to take a break b4 enlisting.glad to make many more new frens during my stint over there =) lovable ppl man.totally.party animals.haha.

i must say learnt quite a fair bit over there as well.
basics of service - image, hospitality, observant, efficiency, going the extra mile for customers
working with ppl - teamwork, communication, tolerance, respect..basically it's easier working with frens =)
getting along - speaking CHINESE, breaking the language barrier, fun n laughter, helping one another
others - picking up other languages, partying, stayovers, how to minimise workload (hahaha), the shrewd act of koping tips, a intro to jap food/dining culture etc

btw, there's no way m i going to let my future partner-in-life be a waitress man.why?cos nort onli preys to watchful eyes of lustrous men, but sometimes they will receive demeaning comments.urgh.

anw, i shall nort create a hate-list of co-workers here.learn to forgive.these ppl can carry on with their snobbish attitudes/stone-headedness/faults n dig their own grave.nort onli in their jobs, but in their everyday lives as well.sayonara~

no doubt i m going back for a meal someday or just to meet up with the ppl there man.anw, a new outlet will be opening at crown center (beside coro) coming may i tink.maybe some of the guys will be posted to work there oso.cool.haha.shall check it out oso =)

//

although i prolly wun be able to my jap long straight hair cut, at least i'm able to recreate the retro jap bartender look with a lil help a wax =)))

Work.

2007-03-31T02:26:00.000+08:00

If..

2007-03-23T02:10:00.000+08:00

If u have good taste in music, and a propensity for fun..heed my advice n listen to

S.K.A.P.A.R.A.

the rest of ya, go get a life =)

//

i wanna learn

.cooking
.many more languages
.slappin' n poppin' on bass
.to mix cocktails
.pen-spinning tricks
.juggling tricks

SKAPARA!!!

2007-03-18T13:00:00.000+08:00

lost voice.aching neck.muffled right ear.all but a small price to pay for...

TOKYO SKA PARADISE ORCHESTRA CONCERT!!!

"We're gonna exchange POWER. you give us power, and we give u power. OK?"

"We love you Singapore!"

"We're gonna come to play here!"

- Atsushi Yanaka, baritone sax

"ARIGATO GOZAIMATSU~~~~(in a chibi voice.haha.)"
- Masahiko Kitahara, trombone

"It was a blast!"

"High energy, absolutely electrifying ska music!"

"Sugoi-desne!"

"Ska never felt so good!"

"10 men, pink tuxs, lotsa grooving n dancing, i can't ask for more!"

"The whole concert hall at esplanade were on their feet! it was a great feeling just to be there!"

"90min of fun, fun n more fun!"

"1 of the best concerts EVER!"

"No wonder they're invited by the ska pioneers, the skaterlites, to tour with them! they're were totally amazing. the music. the energy. the stage antics. it was not only pleasing to the ears, but to the eyes as well."

"I was partying all night long!"

"I was at the 3rd row in front! I was within 5m from the stage. The band was totally TIGHT n awesome man. They were having lotsa fun on stage as well. Looks like they love the crowd too! And people were skanking all ard me. It was a one-in-a-lifetime experience man."
"Looks like i m going to get their whole discography!"

"Heart-thumping, feel-good ska music! 100% fun!!

"SKA ME CRAZY!"

- Wong Kok Hao, 19, currently working part-time.full time partying =)

gosh.my bro undergoing depression now cos when the drummer threw away his drumsticks into the crowd at the end of the concert, he lost to another fella just by an inch to grabbing the sticks.ARGH!

TAMA HAJIME OMORI SIGNATURE SERIES

TOKYO SKA PARADISE ORCHESTRA

=) HAJIME OMORI (=

yep.that's wad was written on it.haha.niceeee.

SKAPARA are..

Nargo - Trumpet

Masahiko Kitahara - Trombone (Mr. Dreadlocks)

Tatsuyuki Hiyamuta - Alto Sax & Agitate-man (Yakuza)

Gamo - Tenor Sax

Atsuhi Yanaka - Baritone Sax (Mr. Friendly)

Tsuyoshi Kawakami - Bass

Takashi Kato - Guitar (Master Show-off)

Yuichi Oki - Keyboards (God-like)

Hajime Omori - Percussions

Kinichi Motegi - Drums

here's some samples!

Ska Me Crazy (classic)

Tiny Elephant Parade n surprise surprise.. Seasme Street!!

Skaravan

Tetris (HELL YEA!)

Lupid The Third Theme
Come On (pink tux in full glory)
Ginga No Meiro (theme song of some damn nice jap drama)
Map Of The World (ska ballad.nice)

Official Website

OMG.i m getting High again.hicciup hicciup.hahahaha.

The New Generation of Music.

2007-03-14T03:02:00.000+08:00

electronic based.avant garde, post-rock spacey feeling.niceeeeeeee!music artistes.dat does nort onli sound good,but look good too.create a distinct image for themselves, in their live acts n music videos.

check out this vid man.Sweet!

malajube - montreal -40*

my fav moment in the vid? exactly 1min into the vid.be my angel gal~ =)

hip-hop is now disco!bring in the space pop! =)))

on the side note, montreal, imo is the land the land of arts man.home to bands ranging from godspeed you black emperor to cryptopsy n quo vadis n unexpect.just for laughs.cirque du soliel.montreal jazz festival n more.omg.soo gonna visit the place in the future.

//

RATM REUNITES!fans get ready for helluva good time! the rest of the world prepare for MAYHEM!

Politics is...

2007-03-13T01:09:00.001+08:00

"Politics is a struggle for a chair."

- Sharda

wisest thing i've heard in a while. words to consider..struggle..a..chair..

Politics is...

2007-03-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

"Politics is a struggle for a chair."

- Sharda

wisest thing i've heard in a while. words to consider..struggle..a..chair..

wad makes u happy?

2007-03-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

mi?

when u hear alka curse under her breath when she breaks a couple of bowls during operation hours.NICE!hahaha.

Wipe the smile off ur face, u fag/bitch!

2007-03-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

knn...

...

@#$#^$%&%^*&^^$#$@$

damnit.had an awful ride home just now.why?sitting beside some aqua.sibei gaowei.but first of all, lemme justify why i say he's aqua.in order to hide his true identity, let's just call him..gay.

ok.11 feb.zen party.most young adults were dancing on the dance floor.knn.den some of us caught sight of this aqua fella doing some gu niang dances moves n poses.damnit.den things got more 'interesting'.the gay whipped out a promanade mask (think zorro, but PURPLE in colour) and wore it.den things got even worse.damnit damnit damnit.cheebye, this fag den made a move towards mi.gimme tt 'come on and let's have some fun' wave.F**k!

nabei.when he realised tt everyone was daoing him, he went to the 2nd floor to 'showcase' his dance moves for everyone to see (still with tt gay mask on). then another stranger turn ard n ask mi if tt fella is gay or nort.stupid shit.

ok.hope tt's gross enough.on with the horrify trip back home.

knn.entered the van last so there's no more space.one empty seat beside the gay.wonder why.bah.anyway, when u're sitting by the gay, the only thing on ur mind is to get back home asap.bish.

soo i pretend to sleep, just in case mr gay wanna be mr nice n talk.f**k off man.keep in mind tt i', desprately trying to keep half a seat away from gay.meaning i m just balancing my weight on the left half of the damn seat.so i closed my eyes n 'sleep'.

nabei.less than 10min later, tt gay rub shoulders with mi.like WTF?!bah.cannort sleep liao.he's the one asleep now (although i really dunno if tt's true), and he freaking cannort keep his body/head straight.bah.sibeeeeeeiiii gaowei.

everytime van stop at the traffic light, i cannort stop cursing at the red light, even more at the gay.

everytime i see a turn, i hope the van will swirl abruptly so tt gay will knock his head n stay awake.

but tt never happened.grrrrrrrrr.

then i heard, 'eh, vincent, ur head overhanging over the fella's shoulders, he must be feeling quite uncomfortable.' like wth.i soo happen to noe another vincent tt i quite gay oso.dun name ur future son vincent lest he turn gay.bah.so vincent gay woke up for a min n adjusted himself..

den he fell asleep again..

!!!!!

finally we reach bukit panjang and someone dropped off.so gay was awake after tt liao.when gay is nort sleep, what does he do? he digs his nose! @#$@#%#%&$#@#$@#$%^& dig dig.stop.dig again.stop.

ok, i tot tt's normal enough liao.

den he con't digging.knn.unhygienic n inconsiderate gay.grossed shit.

i quickly grab my bag n curled beside the van's door n waited for my exit.

shitty day.

//

i hateeeeeeee tt smile on tt face.nabei.onli appear in front of customers wan.and with the manager and the guys she tries to flirt with la.bah.bitch.

behind tt facade, stupid alka is one bossy short-fused hypocrite tt no one enjoys working with.in fact many ppl dun like her la.wad a bitch.

let's sing a song!
alka sucks! alka sucks! alka sucks sucks sucks!
everybody now!
Alka Sucks! Alka Sucks! Alka alka sucks sucks Sucks! Ole~!!

shitty day.

Wise Words.

2007-03-07T02:02:00.000+08:00

From a Hollywood celeb photographer.
"I'll not praise you for being pretty if you're not. However, I'll find something else to compliment you for, be it your footwear or your sense of humour."

From a Cassanova.
Conversation between a Cassonova to a gorgerous looking lady, off 'State of Fear' by M.Crichton.
"I get the feeling you're as brilliant as you're beautiful" Mr. Casanova said.
"Actually, no," lady replied.
"You're being modest, that's really charming."
"I'm being honest, and i'm telling you I don't like flattery."
"Hardly flattery, in your case," the gentleman replied with a smile.

From Richard Feynman.
"Science, is what we've learnt about how not to fool ourselves."

From kok.Or rather, an attempt by kok.
"Music speaks no language, but conveys endless flows of ideas and emotions."

=))

//

Ever wonder what really happens in a restuarant when it's raining?

waitresses are chatting n giggling away.
senior waiteress is showing the ropes to the most promising full-time employee.
runner is making coffee.
cashier is doing japanese homework at the counter.
dishwasher is listening to his mp3 player.
chefs are watching soccer on espn.
sushi chef is playing his PSP.
manager is talking to his gf on the cellphone.
and kok is trying to learn the diff grades/names of the wines/sake/shochu.

hahaha.i shud get the employee of the month award man.

haha.but when the rain go away, the money rolls in.haha.customers chui chui man~
bartender and dish-up are trading stuffs over bluetooth

March 2.

2007-03-01T20:32:00.001+08:00

ppl will rmb this day for all the wrong reasons..

nevertheless, all the wish everyone! =)

One word to sum up the day.

2007-02-27T00:33:00.000+08:00

Smitten.

nort by fiona xie.she happened to pass by the rest today.but by someone else.omg.nort onli is this particular lday tall n pretty.she has really nice features.she's like uber nice n cute oso.sweet, but at the same time, elegant.really frenly too.sounds like i'm contradicting myself rite? but what if it's true.gosh.makes her soo wonderful.seriously how many ppl u meet are liddat wan?die liao die liao.

too bad culture clash =((((

nvm.first step is learning nort to be prejudice towards certain sterotypes =)

Some ppl might tink tt i play too much..

2007-02-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

but truth is, i haven played enough n i ain't partying hard enough yet!

damnit.going in army liao leh.must play until song one.

things to do :
bball
soccer
softball
wakeboarding
rock-climbing
moshing
skanking
late night soccer matches
mahjong
party
going out
esplanade
sentosa

//

the diff between local employees n foreign workers.

locals are employed, hold a job, thus they earn money.
foreigners really work for their money.

locals are money-motivated.
foreigners work cos their families depend on them.

locals are grumpy n never satisfied.
foreigners know wad they want n are self-contented individuals.

locals are scheming, cut-throat, power-hungry beasts.
foreigners are encouraging, cooperative team players.

locals are egostic n wun tell ya ur faults.
foreigners are nort onli humble, they do wadeva they can to show you the rope.

locals talk behind ur back n engage in politics.tsktsk.
foreigners are ur fren.

=)

A Taste of Fresh Air

2007-02-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

U noe u're feeling great when u... :

. u are finally downloading great music again.
. u've moved on.
. u've received letters.
. u've taken initiative to do smth.
. u've made new great frens who willing to go thru thick n thin with ya.fun-loving n humourous ppl too =)
. u've capital for the next poker meeting.
. u've a great concert to look forward to.
. u have a list of items/DVDs to purchase.

=)

every time i say this, ppl dun believe man.but trust mi, the air smells the best from 6.30-7.30 in the morning, just as the dawn breaks n the skies warms up for a new day.nice stuff =)

gosh, i realise i m smiling alot in this entry.hahaha.so many pals i wanna thank personally.

Many THANKS !!! =DD

omg, darren is soo cute b4 he sleeps, during his naps, n just as he wakes up.hahaha.charming lil fella =)

A lonesome feeling

2007-02-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

by the time u read this.i've prolly gotten over it.just like many times b4.just by letting ur emotions swell within ya n doing notin abt it.argh.

//

anw, they are some irritating figures at zen.ppl tt u like can't like.damnit.always spoil my day.today all 3 present.mega fuck up combo.

two-faced alka.
stoned-faced crystal.
yaya-papaya-lazy-as-crap yaya.

anw, there're really nice ppl there oso la.ppl who always make my day.

abang boy.
leng zai jecky.
mr gadget aka wo-bu-zhi-dao adek.
baby 1.sweetie pie ruby.
baby 2.nono.she's hot she's nice.bless her soul man.
wah-lan-oei ah wei.
mr grill, mr nice guy senna-san. (awesome food man)
bagla-boxi myra.
miss smiley hana-san.
the all-so-cool jap bartenders from k bar.
n someone i whud love to call boss someday, ian of cigar bar.damn nice fella.

n ppl whom i respect lots all along.

chef in black yasui-san.
mr sen-jin-bing kiwamu-san.

this fella having mood swings lately sia.gimme the feeling like he lost his gf liddat.

hafiz.wassup with ya man.be strong!be more willing to accept feedback.learn from mistakes.u wan, u can.

//

my hair is getting long.good.
my hair is still pretty dry.no good.

bah.

//

my ideal lullaby?

a sweet, soothing feminine rendition of 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'

.

Party On~

2007-02-12T23:11:00.000+08:00

haha.yest party was great la.food n drinks.dance.plus the company n pals were great fun to hang out with la.haha.moreover, got first prize for lucky draw.got a humper.Mwhahaha.

we need more!

den slept over at colleagues' place.had a nice chat with a frenly msian chef till 5 in the morn.room was small.3 msians squeeze in a room.i was sleeping on 2 arm chairs fixed tgt.tt was nort much of a prob la.but the room was pretty smoky la.on air con summore, no ventailation.oh well.woke up at ard 8 plus n left the place with the hamper n travelled with it all the way back from.from hougang mind you.sian tiao.pretty sleepy n nort in total control of myself of sorts la.

anw, getting closer with some of the ppl down there.esp with the guys.the chefs, helpers, bartender etc.some of the waitresses pretty cold.dunno why.mebbe the cannort tahan the antics of the guys at times la.haha.aiyo.one big family mah.just be happy n work hard tgt can liao.

Hope

2007-02-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

to finish the book.

to get nice black shoes.

to skank n dance to skapara on mar 17.

to enjoy tml.

Guess who i served today?

2007-02-09T02:41:00.000+08:00

"here's ur Zuwai Chaahen (Queen crab fried rice)"

!!!!!!

*looks at customer again*

!!!!!!

*smile on her face*

wahlan oei!

haha.was serving to ms cynthia koh (xiu mei zhen) today.haha.pretty gal.quite nice oso.obliged to signed on one of the restuarants teapot as a memoto =) but was with this nort-too-handsome guy.hahaha.dunno who paid for the bill in the end man :P Nice.

HAPPY MUSIC =)

2007-02-07T02:31:00.000+08:00

ok.i can't wait to buy any of their album now.Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra~nope, they dun play cheesy commercial ska music.these guys just make great music n are completely into having fun n putting up a good show man.awesome stuff.

never mind tt i wun be able to watch x japan or RATM live ever again.cos i m catching TSPO coming march!MWhahahaha.u bet i m gonna skank on tt night admist all the jap dudes man.

ps they got a funky guy with dreadlocks tt play the trumbone!kevin will love this guy.haha.n their keyboardist is talented man.nort onli do they play happy ska songs, they play lovely ballads like 'map of the world' haha.just youtube them la.lovely..

SKA ME CRAZY!

Cleansing

2007-02-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

i need a day or two or even three to cleanse myself, physically, mentally, spiritually.

sports.work out.relaxing.pampering myself with good food n good reads.company of frens n family.music.

cya afresh.

'This is your picture because you have a big head.'

2007-02-05T23:19:00.000+08:00

today is a bad day.

i woke up nort feeling too good n could nort get back to sleep.laid in bed, red-eyed, thoughts racing through my head.however, i could hear his voice rumbling on n on outside.tt brought a smile to my face.

lucky lil darren is there.

i'm stuck in btw quitting my old job n getting a new one.feeling quite bummed out with notin to do.started to read a sad book.scar tissue by anthony kiedis.den he started slapping on the door n popped in, donned in his kindergarden uniform, shouting out loud, 'I am HOME!' i knew someone was there for mi.

lucky lil darren is there.

tot i could get to meet my frens n get a good work out in skool.so i dropped by training today.mood was moody n everyone looked pretty dead n they seemed to be lazing away.no drive.no coach.no camadarie (sp?).most of them will onli get to work when they're told n they seemed forced to do wadeva they're doing.no fun.kinda sad actually.bah.went back home tired, but nort cos of being shagged by softball.cos i was just sick of putting up with all these alr.nearly missed my stop on my way home.got my dad to fetch me back from the bus stop as usual.but on the side window i see the most lovable kid in the whole wide world, opening the door for mi.den he rumbles on abt his day n his power ranger stories.once again i feel loved.i felt at home.

lucky lil darren is there.

//

i feel soo cold n distant again.mebbe it's cos i put on a front n dun wanna voice things out.even if i try, i ain't able to express myself properly n get the lil affection tt i want.yep,so things kinda boil down to my own fault.but i guess everyone whud love for someone else to take the initiative to be loving, concerned n nice bah..

//

4 years now..goodbye.best wishes.

what i wanna do now.

2007-02-03T02:43:00.000+08:00

i wanna work out soo bad n get myself all shagged up n wake up late in the morning, expecting good breakfast, time to play with darren again.den we could play softball all day long n mosh to awesome hardcore music all night long.

I miss some ppl more than others.

2007-02-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

been keeping myself busy with work..so busy tt i dun have much time for my own, n to spend with others oso..

sigh.1st of all.dallas' feeling a lil stressed out being in skool.worrying abt nort being able to keep pace n cope..bah..dunno issirt cos he's tinking too much.putting his peers in such high regard.or mebbe he's listening too much to his frens from other jc la..he's always sooooo emotional when it comes to these sorta things de.or mebbe it's really the env bah.he said tt the ppl he mingle ard with are nice n fun.just tt he dun like the pace of studies la.bah.

bah.den i always wake up late n darren will be in skool alr.den i wun be able to see him for the rest of the day cos i'll reach home damn late.miss the lil boy.how can u nort love such a fella man.ps.he's getting really bright n rationale.confirm next time scholar type wan.this type of thing can see wan.haha.

been pretty cold to my mum oso lately.cos she's always asking mi the same old questions at all the wrong time.she'll ring to mi early in the morning, when i'm feeling most grumpy, to ask mi 'hey,u going to work today?' or she will call mi late at night b4 she goes to bed, and ask mi 'hey, u reaching home alr?' den i'll be just too tired to say too much oso la.i dun blame her.which mum doesn't show love n concern to her son de? just tt as a son, u find it naggy la..oh well.

meanwhile. some pricks have to spring back into my post jc life in the most irritating ways. FUCK OFF! dun need to see u fags ard now, so stay away. shoo! fucking repel away. butoh.

anw, back to the sentimental me.. i do miss some ppl from skool.. oh well..i miss the bball courts.i miss the smell of grass.i miss the feeling of waking up in someone else's apartment.i miss the feeling of letting urself completely loose n moshing the hell with ur new-found ah-bangs.

and yea, i miss some ppl more than others..bah.

Disco Fever

2007-01-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

kkk.i dunno why i m on this 80s disco high at 1am in the morning.but here are some awesome videos from the past.thanks to my mama for recommending this awesome band to mi back when i was in pri skool.Boney M.neat stuff.haha.

Daddy Cool.
this video can rival the dragonforce vid for 'video of the year award' sia.uber manly intro.nort-so-silky dance moves.headbanging.crazy chops.man..
Rasputin.
Ma Baker.
Rivers of Babylon.
Happy Song.

the afro dancing dude is my new hero man.confirm mambo king in SG.haha.

anw, who can forget these 2 songs oso?

Ice Ice Baby.
Mr Vain.
Stayin' Alive.

Party On! ;)

Kani Nabe for u sir?

2007-01-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

Singaporeans really dunno their manners sia.

given a scenerio.when an waiter steps up to them n says 'Good afternoon Mdm', there are 3 kinds of responses singaporeans will give.

*notice the waiter nv say anything abt the food/cafe, eg 'Lunch for u Mdm' or 'Would u like to try our special Mdm?' why, cos some weird ppl really take offence when the waiter says this, dun really understand why oso.anw,the waiter is just trying to be nice n say hi, accompanied with a smile*

Response 1 - lady smiles back (kk,nice enough)
Response 2 - lady walks away from u
Response 3 - lady walks past u like u're freaking transparent (hate this wan most.@#$@$)

and u noe wad's the most saddening thing?most of these ppl are working class EDUCATED mofos.seriously, dunno how they raise the corporate ladder.hypocrites.smile at boss onli.dunno la.see why i dun wanna do office if i can in the future?disgrace to singapore.even the janitors can smile back la.

singaporeans shud really put aside the chao bin, he lian, lan jian bin n learn to exercise those facial muscles a bit more.leaern from the angmohs.learn to compliment ppl.like it's take away ur last breathe liddat.

//

i dun like to work with grumpy old ladies.oh ya.turkish men are meticulous, grumpy n intimidating ppl.

//

man.yatsu-san is cool as usual.my idol sia.n the jap bartenders are looking great as usual.n Someeeeee PRCs do look goood man.haha.let's just say i got a decent sample size there.there are the bookish kind.the demure kind.the la mei kind etc.haha.the kitchen staff forever on jihong mode.haha.got this fella kaninabe cewhw4;r24 @#$@#$@ all the time.at first bit irritating.after a while quite funny la.all in all.everyone's pretty nice there.so yea.good.hope to score more hours there.gogogo.

//

BYE BYE V LAM!

ahh.nihonjin des ka?

2007-01-25T00:30:00.000+08:00

omg.i got the coolest jap boss ever.he's just sibei shey la.prolly 40+ but he looks like 30 onli.tall solemn man clad wholly in black.haven heard him said much.incidentally, he's the main chef oso.he just seem to be busy doing his own work.but from wad i gather, he doesn't say much but observes everyone w/o showing much.oh btw, did i say he got this really neat nice haircut.n really sharp features.he cuts his own hair somemore.man.wahlau.i cannort describe just how shey this fella in words la.no wonder his 10pc sashimi cost $90+++...i think if he smile at u for the good work u put in, u can go buy 4D alr.sure come out 1st prize n 2nd prize wan.

anw, jap bartenders sibei cool oso.really like wad u see in those high class bars in jap movies.white suits.sharp features.and this mega-gelled up hairdo.damn retro.damn nice man.really inspire mi sia.

anw, everyone cannort believe i m turning 19 this year.most think i m sec skool or just complete o lvls.grrrrrrrrr.but nvm,i'll prolly look 30 when i turn 50.MWhahaha.

'Forever young, i wanna be forever young'

btw, the play really damn nice music at the jap rest.nice nice oldies.frank sinatra, louis armstrong, ben e king are some of the singers i can name.the others mostly got hear b4 wan (parents' old CDs).nonetheless, classics are classics la.evergreen n nice.

got annual staff party coming somemore in the rest.i sibei heng to join at the rite time man.heard damn happening.Mwhhahhaha.thrash all the other clubs.ps no covercharge.remind mi of chiangmai :P

oh.anyway.here are some inspirations my hair in the future.Mwahaha.

. Strikeout
. Myung-style
. Prison Break
. Pink Spyder
. Samurai
. Old School Jap Bartender!!!

NICE! =)